Who we are
This website is part of the CaymanMunda Network. The website address is https://government-ridiculous.com.
What this site does not do
There is no public registration. There are no user accounts. We do not run third-party analytics, advertising networks, social media pixels, or behavioural trackers of any kind. Nothing on this site profiles you, and nothing follows you off it.
What is collected
Server logs. Our web server records standard access logs for every request: IP address, timestamp, the page or file requested, HTTP status, referring page where one is sent by your browser, and user-agent string. This is ordinary web server behaviour and is used for two purposes only — keeping the site secure and available, and understanding how much traffic is real and how much is automated.
Download counts. When a PDF or other file is downloaded from this site, that request appears in the same access logs described above. We count downloads to know how many people are reading. No separate identifier, account, or tracking beacon is attached to a download.
Cookies. No cookies are set for ordinary visitors. A session cookie is set only when a site administrator logs in to the content management system.
Embedded content from other websites
Posts may include embedded content such as videos or documents hosted elsewhere. Embedded content behaves as though you had visited the other website directly, and those sites may set their own cookies and collect their own data. We have no control over what they do.
Where your data is processed
Requests to this site pass through a virtual private server hosted by 1984 Hosting in Iceland, within the European Economic Area. Logs are stored on infrastructure we rent or operate directly, and are not sent to any analytics provider, advertising network, content delivery network, or other third party….
Logs are not sent to any analytics provider, advertising network, content delivery network, or other third party.
How long data is kept
Access logs are retained for 30 days and then deleted. Aggregate counts derived from those logs — totals with no IP addresses attached — may be kept longer.
Your rights
Depending on where you live, you may have the right to ask what personal data we hold about you, to receive a copy of it, and to ask us to delete it. Given that the only personal data this site holds is a server log entry, a request will generally need to include the IP address and approximate date to be findable at all.
To make a request, contact [privacy@government-ridiculous.com].
Visitors in the EEA and UK retain their rights under the GDPR and UK GDPR respectively.
Changes
This policy may be updated. Material changes will be noted on this page.
For an account of what happens to data once it reaches our custody, see Schedule B: Data Custody Arrangements.
And Schedule B, on its own page, with the joke rebuilt around the truth:
Schedule B — Data Custody Arrangements
Our Privacy Policy states that we retain server logs and nothing else. This is accurate. What it omits is the custody arrangement.
Mind the beast in the basement.
It is hungry and it loves red tape, FOI requests, glossy consultant brochures, and the leavings of unidentified creatures including donkeys. It was engaged at considerable expense to guard our data holdings. It has since discovered what our data holdings consist of.
They consist of one compressed access log.
The beast is not taking this well. It has multiple rows of teeth — the exact count cannot be provided, as it is always mutating and growing. Claptrap might know. Claptrap will not say. Claptrap never talks about the basement, and that should concern you.
You are of course welcome to go down and retrieve your data yourself. We would gently discourage it, for the following reasons:
- We want to stay sane. It occasionally happens.
- Its breath smells of overdue paperwork and something that once mooed.
- We believe in the user’s agency.
- Those who have gone down came back with extra limbs in unusual places, or did not come back.
- It has been alone with a 4KB gzip file since March and it has opinions about it.
So yes — be our guest. Go right in.
You won’t mind if we sell the pay-per-view.
